The Women....

I never imagined I would have this much of an impact on anyone.  I wanted to start this blog to get all my thoughts and feelings about being an overweight lady trying to be a healthy lady out of my head and into a forum for safe keeping, nothing more.  The support and the well wishes from people I haven't talked to in years, people I see everyday and everyone in between has been incredible.  Although I know this weight loss personal challenge is just that, personal, I have not always had to go through all of the emotions of being overweight on my own.  I am lucky enough to have three main women in my life that have always supported me, with anything I've ever done, unconditionally. 

My first friend I've ever had in the world was Casey.  I met her when we were 4 years old while both  playing outside, looking for cattails.  What a cute story, right?  The truth of that meeting was that our Dads had sent us outside of their favorite bar and softball field to get us out of their hair while they drank beer.  Don't judge our fathers.  It was the 80's and Casey and I loved being there.  In the years following, up to this day, she has been the most positive woman I have ever known, the best Mother I've ever seen in action, and a complete and total safety net for me when I feel like I'm falling and no one else will be there to catch me.  We have been through a lot of emotional events in our lives together and I know, even if I don't talk to her for months, I will always be welcome to stop by on a Sunday morning for coffee and a good, long talk.  Thank you, Casey, for always being there for me.

The next lady I met in high school.  Kerry was so fun and cool, I could tell right when I met her.  She was always laughing and having fun and I wanted to be just like her.  Since the moment we met, we were instant soul sisters.  Don't believe me?  A gypsy woman fortune teller even told us once that we were "closer than sisters." : )  She has showed me what it's like to have fun and not care what anyone thinks about it.  She has inspired me to be honest and always say what's on my mind, even though it gets us BOTH in trouble sometimes.  I have seen her go through awkward teenage years, to the ultimate party girl and drinking partner, to the most amazing Mother to a beautiful baby boy and a wife.  It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about her full life and how happy she is.  I am honored to be a part of her life and her unconditional support has meant the world to me.  She was and is always there for me, from 90210 to special treats.  I love you, Kerry.

Then there's my little baby girl.  She is the first person I call when I wake up and the last person I call before I go to bed.  Jamie has inspired me to seek a healthier life, to work out and she has been known to tell me how things really are, even when I don't want to hear it.  We have about a million inside jokes and we both think the other one is THE most hilarious person on Earth.  She totally gets me, probably better than any other human being ever has or ever will.  Thank you, Jamie, for forcing me to try the Insanity Workout in your basement and almost killing me, for understanding what I'm talking about before I finish my sentence, and especially for always encouraging me to be the best person I can be.

Now, there's only one woman left.  My sister, Dana.  She is my big sister and sometimes she has a hard time understanding that I'm not 10 years old anymore, but she loves me.  We have an unusual bond as a result of the loss of both of our parents.  We are the only ones to carry on our family memories, we are the only ones who miss our Mom and Dad like we do and we are the only Bersie sisters left on Earth.  I love her so much, it's hard to type right now.  She is my blood and my sister and I love her like no other.  Dana, you have always protected me, listened to me and laughed at all of my jokes.  Even though you're weight loss advice is sometimes a very direct, "Well?  Don't eat that shit!", I still appreciate your effort.  Thank you for being my big sister.  Thank you for seeing past my physical features and seeing me....the real me.

WHOO!  That was emotional.  Although it kind of felt like a speech I would recite at all of their respective weddings, it's all true.  Yes, I get depressed and lonely.  Yes, I eat my feelings away and lay on the couch and hate myself occasionally.  Yes, I'm not as happy as I may seem on the outside.  But, I am sure of one thing in my life.....those 3 ladies will always be the core of me and they will never treat me any differently no matter WHAT my body looks like.

P.S. Don't get it twisted, there are more people who have changed my life for the better, but I feel that the siblings Schwartz deserve their very own blog.  One day.....

P.P.S. I skipped the gym today - don't freak out - I did an hour of Just Dance 3 on our XBox Kinect.  It was very fun and very hard and I am very sweaty.  Now, the donut holes I ate at work today are a different story.  Two steps forward, one step back.  I'm OK.

XOXOXO