Ode to fast food....

Oh, McDonalds.  How I loved thee.  You picked me up when I was down.  You tasted and looked the same wherever or whenever I bought and ate you.  Your delicious fries and large ice cold Coca Colas made me so happy.  I loved the way your processed, orange-ish cheese melted over your greasy, grey, and rumpledy patty.  Your perfectly deep fried, white and oddly shaped like Idaho McNuggets always hit the spot with sweet and sour sauce and a large Sprite.  Oh sure, once in a while I'd stray to Burger King or Wendy's, but never too far, McDonalds.  I couldn't be tempted by flame broiled treats and square hamburger shapes.  You were always in my heart.

Remember the time you tried to trick me into thinking if I just had a double cheeseburger Mighty Kids Meal, it would be like dieting?  Ha....good times.  Oh, and remember how every year you made me addicted to your Monopoly game and I thought it was OK that I ate you every day because I was going to win $250,000?  You got me there, McD.  You got me there.  Ah, the memories.  I can remember vividly the times I would go through your drive through, order 2 meals, pretending I was bringing it home for someone, and eating the entire contents of the bag behind random buildings in town.  Or the times I would stop by and grab a double cheeseburger on my way home from work, only to get home and eat a full dinner as well.  Man, no one knew about you and me.  Your food was so easy to scarf down and all I had to do was throw away the bag and no one would ever suspect. 

I though it was really cute when you introduced a healthier menu including salad that, when your dressing is applied, has just as many calories as a Big Mac.  I would eat those salads, loaded with candied nuts, rich dressing and various not-so-great-for-you toppings, and thought I was actually making a healthy choice.  You rascal.  Your healthier menu also included items that were under 300 calories, but once you order 2 or 3 things from that "healthy" menu, you might as well have had a #2 with a Coke, what with the sodium and fat content.  It was a sweet idea, but you can't fool me anymore.

I will genuinely miss you, McDonalds.  Sure, I might see you for ONE item on a Sunday morning once in a while, or MAYBE a hamburger Happy Meal when I'm feeling especially reminiscent for you, but this is it.  This is the end of our relationship as we knew it.  Thank you, from the bottom of my clogged-artery heart, for always shining your golden arches in the shadows of my life and letting me know everything will be OK.  You were a wicked temptress, but I must move on.  You were delicious and a HUGE part of my life, ever since I was a little girl, stacking your Styrofoam Big Mac boxes in the back of your restaurant at my neighbor's 6th birthday party, but all good things must come to an end.  Goodbye, sweet prince.  Good bye.

XOXOXOXO