I distinctly remember writing a paper in high school about what my adult life would look like in my 16 year old mind. A college graduate, a record producer (which I'm still not really even sure of what that ACTUALLY is), a wife, a mother, a home owner and, inexplicably to me as a grown up version of that student, a vegetarian. I had it all figured out, as the assignment was to be as detailed as possible. I would wake up, get the 2.5 kids ready for school, see my architect husband off to work, and go to my recording studio (what??). I remember the paper detailed that I would meet "the band" at the studio (this making me laugh, like out loud, right now) and we would lay down some tracks (laughing harder). Then I would pick the kids up from school, make them do their homework, play with our yellow lab named Mustard (I was a weird 16 year old), and prepare some delicious vegetarian meal. My husband would come from architecting (I don't know....drawing a futuristic mall all day or something?) and we would all tell each other about our day. Repeat 5 days a week and on weekends we would go to Monster Truck rallies or art museums or volunteer at a homeless shelter. This was the ideal life of my teenage self, I guess.
I have none of these things. I am not married, no kids, no house, no Mustard. I'm not a record producer (someone seriously tell what that really is) nor did I graduate college. I eat a lot of various meats and have never even considered being a vegetarian. Not once. I have none of these things, yet I'm happy. Take THAT 16 year old me!
I think that, from an early age, we are programmed to want the cool things we see around us. Obviously. What else is there to want besides what you have been positively surrounded by? When you're a kid, you think the families on your favorite sitcom are something you aspire to have. You think that your family is NOTHING like this perfect family (except Roseanne, of course) and you want to create that for yourself. You are inspired by your teachers and are determined to teach that EXACT social studies class when you get older. You see a house on the cover of a magazine at your dentist's office and are certain that you will live in that house by the time you're 25. Simple. Well, know-it-all kids, guess what? NO.
You can plan your life all you want, but in the end your life will just kind of HAPPEN to you. The choices you make, the people you choose to share your life with, the hard work you put into any little thing, THAT'S what life is. I'm telling you right now....you can't plan it. You can plan to go to college, graduate and work hard to procure your dream job, but the family thing will have wait. You can plan to have the 2.5 kids, the house and Mustard, but some of your passions and career aspirations will either be put on hold or disappear all together. The full package, as mentioned in the above high school assignment, is a myth. Sure, there are people that are living their perfect life, but I can guarantee you, their version of their perfect life has changed, in more ways then one.
The moral of the story, kids (HIMYM), is that happiness lies in your immediate vicinity. If not, change either your version of perfect or your surroundings. Either way, don't think about what you thought your life would be like. It's not that. It probably will never be that. But, you still win if you are happy. Always.
